Memories: WAV vs MP3

A Memoir of Music, Mindfulness, and the Pursuit of Unforgettable Memories

I am from the era of MP3s, where music came from CDs, pen drives and memory cards, before lossless streaming over the internet was even born.

My first purchase from my first earnings as an adult were a pair of really nice headphones - They were ‘audiophile grade’ headphones which were used by musicians as monitors when recording music. I remember being fully excited, plugging them into my phone and listening to music from my library for the first time - They sounded so underwhelming. I tried everything; Changing the EQ settings, listening on max volume and each time the music sounded flat, one dimensional and lacklustre. I had such high expectations for excitement - I really wanted them to sound great. 

When I tried to debug why this may be happening, the reviews told me that they sound really great when you listen with them on dedicated music equipment (DACs¹) to with uncompressed files music files. Having plugged it into my phone and listening to low-bitrate MP3 files (compressed low fidelity format) seemed to have been the mistake. I immediately bought a DAC and loaded it with a few songs from my library in uncompressed WAV format.  

The difference was night and day. The music sparkled; Song after song, I could listen to so much more detail, subtle nuances, and intricate instrumentation. There was so much more dynamic range, almost like new dimensions - Instruments and vocals were somehow separated and coming from different directions. The result was a connection with my favorite songs that was deep and impactful - Bohnam’s drums seemed to play separately and shifted from the guitars, Chester’s voice made me want to scream along, and Flea’s bass slapped me hard!

Since then, I have been looking to experience life and events in high fidelity; in a deep and impactful manner. 

Recently, based on advice from many, I have begun practicing a different way of mindfulness - The do nothing meditation. In this form of meditation, you let whatever that happens happen. You simply sit there in silence, observing and processing everything. The more time I have spent being mindful this way, the more I have come to realize that this form of mindfulness is similar to plugging into earphones and listening to my library of music - Instead of listening to songs, in silence, I recollect and replay my memories. 

The memories from my childhood are always vivid and spectacular in detail - Like listening to music in high-fidelity WAV format songs. I recollect all the small details - the sounds, the smells, the emotional impact - in full definition. Some memories are so deep and impactful that they can make me laugh or cry even though there is so much distance between me and the memory - both in terms of space and time.

In comparison, when I process the memories of recent times, they always seem to be one big blob. I recollect recent memories with all the facts but none of the details; They usually have little to no emotional impact - I can’t remember the subtle nuances and sometimes I can’t recollect most of my recent memories altogether. 

I can very vividly remember eating mangoes as a child; The cravings of summer, eating the cold fruit on hot days; Enjoying the fruit in all its forms - As juice, as milkshake and even as a filling for a sandwich. I thoroughly enjoyed the mangoes in my childhood and most importantly, I remember enjoying them.  

I wish I could explain eating at Pujol (best Mexican restaurant in the world) last year with the same passion and emotion - It was really really good food that I remember having enjoyed but I can’t tell you what it tasted like, what it made me feel. I can show you high definition photos from Pujol but the memory in my head is a grainy faded polaroid. 

I don’t have the photos of me eating a mango, but you will see my eyes sparkle when I tell you about mangoes and summers in Chennai, India. 

I live a much better and fulfilled life than I did as a child; why can’t I replay my recent memories in high definition. I think I know; As a child, when I did things, I was mostly never preoccupied. There was no preoccupation with concerns of the past or the future, no stress, no fatigue, no burden of responsibilities; I just was. Even during periods of not doing anything particular, I never overloaded myself with information. Maybe my brain was more elastic and adaptive or maybe everything was a novelty. 

I don’t live my life like a child anymore, I am an adult now with the complexities and demands of adulthood - I am constantly multi-tasking and living a life that is saturated with information. There is very limited novelty left. Even things that I love, like going on a date with my wife, I give very little attention or emotional engagement to. 

It’s like I am recording my recent life in low fidelity MP3 - In trying to compress more into my life, I have had constant loss of details, loss of nuance, loss of dynamic range, and loss of life. 

But I don’t want to create memories that I will not enjoy recollecting in the future; As an old man, I want to tell stories of my youth with the same vividness that I do of my childhood - I want to recollect and replay my memories in uncompressed FLAC. I think I need to be a child again in the way I process things; I need to be mindful and present. I need to focus on the details and the context. I need to create associations, I need to recollect and I need to find novelty in everything again. I need to do just one thing at once; With all my head and heart, like a child!

And maybe the next time I go on a date with my wife, I will put my phone down and just be with her in space and time; Maybe I will be able to tell you what she wore, the way she smiled, the food we ate, dishes that made us smile wide and how we had the best time.

1. A DAC, or digital-to-analog converter, is a device that converts digital audio signals into analog signals. A DAC improves the sound quality of music by converting digital audio signals into analog signals more accurately. This can result in better soundstaging, imaging, and frequency response. A DAC also helps to reduce noise and distortion in the audio signal.